I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
