My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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