What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we're making bets on your personal life
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
