We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
