spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
