Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
