Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
