Whod you bang
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
