Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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