I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
