Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
