I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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