Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
