No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
