dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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