i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
