Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
