Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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