i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
