Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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