We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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