His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
