Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize