I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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