Quick, to the slutcave!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
