I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
