Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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