i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My vagina is very pro this idea
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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