what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize