porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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