apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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