drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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