if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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