YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
