Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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