dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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