the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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