Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
