Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
