Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
