A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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