I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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