I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he fucked my hip out of place.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
