You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
