I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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