garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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