she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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