In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
