Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize