new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
