After last night, I could never be a politician.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
