BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
sex in a hospital.. check
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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