Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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