Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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