quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
