Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
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Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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