You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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